The Jamba Man Can

So when I was 16, I decided I needed to become gainfully employed so I could purchase all the hottest Sanrio merch. As it turned out, our local Jamba Juice (managed by a man I now know to be practically insane) was in need of just the type of help I was desperate to offer.

After a few months, I was fired and then wrote this poem and posted it to my Xanga (as it turns out, I've been blogging since 2004...)

My friend recently logged into her own Xanga and rediscovered the poem, so I'm posting it here for posterity. I'm also forwarding you the e-mail your future ________ sent me about his NYE party. It does say to bring friends.

The Jamba Man Can

by: kim vincent

Mr. Duane Davis,
The Jamba Juice Man,
whips out those smoothies,
as fast as he can.
He makes all his patrons
think he gives a damn,
'cos he's Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man.


Mr. Duane Davis,
The Jamba Juice Man,
is poppin' some pills,
as much as he can.
The staff is all sufferin',
but hes still da' man,
cos' he's still Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man.


Along came Kim Vincent,
a kid with no money.
Duane gave her a chance,
he seemed sweet as honey.
Little did I know,
I'd soon have to pay,
for going in early,
to an interview that day.


Too good to be true,
my job had begun.
6 dollars an hour'd
be good for some fun.
The employees were sheep,
and thought Duane was cool,
He would walk by,
and Kathleen would just drool.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
hired Kim Vincent
as fast as he can.
One day he called,
my lip started to quiver,
The Jamba Juice man
was an Indian-giver.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
fired Kim Vincent,
as fast as he can.
He called up my phone,
and told me don't bother,
You won't be working
here any longer.


Next Wednesday had come,
and this was the day,
that I must return,
to collect my pay.
No reason was given
for my employment's demise.
"The man" couldn't even
look me in the eyes.


But don't you all worry,
and don't you all fear,
For vengeance is sweet,
and it draws more near,
Be it arson or murder,
or a wrench in a blender,
He won't fail to notice,
and he'll be smart to surrender.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
will always make smoothies,
as good as he can.
But one day he'll know,
and I'll be sure that he sees,
his biggest mistake,
was firing me...

George, etc.

Remember George? (the original yellow fever)
Through extensive stalking, I've learned he has a job at MIT in the biology dept. Our other Bodil classmates are equally (or potentially) successful. Bradley and Claudia applying to fancy places like Stanford and UPenn, and the deplorable Jamie is in a PhD program? In the meantime, I don't think Ian ever returned stateside...

How am I supposed to deal?

I played rock band by myself and ate cookies all day.

I feel like such a failure.

Back in time

Sleeve tat?

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/12/the-evolution-of-the-hipster-2000-2009.html

There's finally a few (okay, maybe one and at most two) identifiable hipster(s) on my campus. The one I spotted was one of the grew-out-his-beard-and-now-looks-like-a-mountain man types. Strangely, I've probably seen him around before (it is a small school after all) and have to admit that he looks way better now. I can't yet tell his sexual preference, but I do like his taste in music which is mostly techno/dance (he happens to DJ for the school's radio). Yes, I may have stumbled upon some of his information. Looking at his pictures, he seems to have gone through this exact evolution, to the T with a short lived Buddy holly phase. I have yet to see him riding his vintage bike while rocking Fedora, but I'm sure come spring time this will all change. I just hope he skips the deep-V!

Thoughts about the sleeve tat? I think would need to grow a pair first.

New Goal

Our newest goal (to be added to the list of course) is to make a contribution to the following noble website:

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

My personal favorite?

The El Niño
Ground beef, sauteed onions, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and cheddar cheese wrapped in a large pepperoni pizza, totaling three pounds.



Warning, they've stolen most (if not all) ideas involving mac and cheese.

Working for the Weekend

Someone (Adam) finally explained the Lenny and his rabbits reference to me. Now we have "Literary Reference Sundays," which are a really nice complement to "Thirsty Thursdays," "Forties on Fridays," and "That Thing We Do at Christiania Wednesdays." (continue with the alliteration)

Needless to say, I was pretty Wednesday-ed last Sunday, and Thursdays and Fridays are often indistinguishable. Saturdays are now just unproductive and weird, and usually involve me throwing up.

It's good to be home for awhile...

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm baking a cake in the morning.

I wrote this before going to Copenhagen. Enjoy

20 Day Countdown
Monday, August 4, 2008 at 10:23pm | Edit Note | Delete
In 20 days, I will officially be out of the country, landed in Copenhagen... 20 Days!!

It's hitting me now that I am taking my first planned trip out of the country. I'd been to other countries before... well, one other - the motherland, and that was years and years ago in my long, lost childhood. I don't remember much at all about it except it was hot, I woke up in a different place every morning, and I was harassed by members of my huge extended family whom I was sure weren't all related by the sheer impossibility of numbers. I have to say I've had more experience in the last three years - flying from dirty armpit state that i love to the not-so-deep Southern state that I more than occasionally enjoy - than in the previous years combined.
That's not to say I'm not cultured. How can I not be, living in the most cosmopolitan city: New York. In fact, this summer has been a culturally diverse experience. I'm working in what my cousin has dubbed "little Bangladesh" right here in Queens. And just 6 stops on the E takes me to China town, where hustle and hassle is the name of the game. I've enjoyed some night-outs in K-town, had my share of "mami-cita" cat calls, and regularly encounter the city's not so elite bunch - the anti-gossip girls and boys, if you will - of uncultured bums and alcoholics.
I can't imagine any other... cliché to say, there is no other city like New York City. Winston-Salem aka "the Dash" surely does not represent - not even close. As for Dallas, I had higher hopes. Miami, sure it's got night life.. but its lacking (note: I recently met these Spanish twins tourists from Miami - Gian Carlo and Jon Paul - who told me I was the first "Asian friend" that they had ever made). Then there's Washington DC - dickle city - our nation's capital cannot even compete.
Blindly, I signed up for a study abroad. I knew it'd be a good experience wherever I went. The truth? I had no idea where I wanted to go since I'd never really been anywhere. At the same time, I didn't care where I went. The only specification was somewhere where English is spoken - now that's real "cultured" of me.
Somehow though, I already feel like this is the right choice for me. Back when I applied to colleges, it was this same mindless decision- my only specification then was somewhere far, far away from home. With luck or fate, whichever you choose to believe, I ended up where I was supposed to and met who I was supposed to (cheesy, but true). As I've researched the country and city (after my application was approved because I didn't think to do so before) I've come to learn some fun facts that I can relate to and enjoy.

(1) Denmark is the happiest country in the world. (relates - I'm usually happy)
(2) The country is environmentally conscious. (I try)
(3) It rains all the time. (while most people hate the rain, I enjoy it.)
(4) Anarchist state (a hippie town, perfect)
(5) Famous cuisines include sandwiches. (my newly proclaimed favorite food!)

This pretty basic trivia isn't much, but I have no idea what to expect. Alls I know for sure is that it won't be New York, but I will find something about it that I love. I always do - The Dash's charm, Dallas' hospitality and steaks, Miami's heat and party-goers, and DC's gorgeous monuments and national pride - just to name a few recent visited cities. However it is that I ended up with this opportunity, I'll never know. As for my feelings? Its not in my nature to worry, so at this point, I'm just ready to take it all in for all that it is. I'm optimistic that the romantic notions that I've picked up from travel guides will stay true to the real Copenhagen. Wish me luck.

Weekend at Harvard

I met my hero David Edwards, author of Artscience: Creativity in the Post-Google generation, founder of La Laboratoire, Cloud Foundation, and The Laboratory. Upon leaving the Datamatrics concert (which was amazing but extremely difficult to explain), I awkwardly kissed him, the cheek to cheek kind, the French way. I realized later that it was probably inappropriate, but I was too deliriously happy to care. I also approached the most inspiring scientist in the book. This meeting was also very awkward. I approached Don and told him he was great, and he basically tried to find a way out of the conversation. I'm sorry to say that I did not figure out what I want to do. Nonetheless it was a successful weekend. Lots of great brainstorming, including Pickle martinis. Recipe is in the works.

Blah

So remember when I had swine flu? LAST TUESDAY?! Turns out my swine flu had babies named pleurisy and pneumonia! hooray! and I'm in the hospital since yesterday! hooray!!
Anyway, there's been no lacking of the good stuff here. And I don't mean cookies and ice cream (though those aren't lacking either) but morphine and xanax (for my anxiety, haha)

I apparently have a lot of anxiety. I think my new nurse "Kathleen" thinks I'm exhibiting drug seeking behavior so she's switched me to motrin, but I'm going to see what can be done to persuade CNA Terry.

Lots of visitors, including my dean (I'm sure just to make sure I'm faking).

Anyway, that's mostly it. I think the Ambien is kicking in. Time to sleep

People are generic

Oh Jane,
Just move to Maine and audit classes at Bowdoin, so we can do what we do at christiania and ponder these things for days at a time. Because these are the things I've been thinking about!

I am constantly amazed at how generic people and personalities are!
If you look at ancient grafitti from Roman cities such as Pompeii or Herculaneum, these people are saying the exact same things we ourselves scrawled on the walls of our bathroom stalls in high school. "Corelia is a whore, Brisius fucked here," various love notes, insults, and cheesy campaign slogans are all over the walls of these cities! Our thoughts and personalities have not evolved, only our language has.

Consistent with this, I also agree that many of our problems and daily minutia are essentially similar to those in the time of the ancients. If you strip away context and technology, problems always come down to things like morals, work, money, health, politics, etc. like you mentioned.

I had a similar realization when started taking latin courses, in that I questioned the ability and intelligence of moderns versus ancients. When you read latin poetry and start to understand enough about the language to truly see how english limits you, it's hard not to have your mind blown and come to the conclusion that the ancients were simply smarter. Ultimately what I've wondered is if it's just a factor of uncharted territory. Perhaps its just that there are no fundamental truths left to discover? and all that's left is to build upon and improve the base of knowledge that exists? It's not that some among us don't have the capacity to be great thinkers, it just that in our age of freely flowing information, discovery is not so easily facilitated. Now the only things left to think about are things that can only be discerned using out technologies.

Basically, People are generic. They take the information they have and go from there. I don't think we're smarter, dumber, or more advanced. Just better at typing and playing guitar hero. We're definitely not as good at drinking (and we're pretty good).

Does that make sense at all? How off-topic did I get in order to get my own agenda forward, haha.

Oh and as far as assuming Sophocles was aware of astrology, I'd be careful there. it seems to me to be more of an eastern tradition (though I have no real idea) and you know how the Greeks regard the Persians (not highly, haha).

Classics

So glad that I'm taking this Greek Tragedy class.

It's so intriguing. I propose Drunk Tragedy, a play on Drunk History.

Right now I'm assigned a paper on Sophoclean agents that I'm actually kind of excited to delve into. I was a firm believer that people back in the day were all silly/stupid, but without the extreme complications of current life (money, job, economy, systems) that we face today*, I feel that people were better able to perfect their crafts. Are we really smarter than we were 1000+ years ago?

Preface: The next part is on a different level and may not make any sense to you so just beware. I'm bad at communicating my ideas in a way that is comprehensible to most people, but I am aware that you are not most people. Also, I admit I will feel a little crazy if you don't publish your own thoughts about all this.

The Q: Are we really smarter than we were 1000+ years ago?

This is relevant to philosophy especially - when you don't have a 9-5 job and your role in society is to simply think, philosophers came up with really universal topics that are relevant today. I'm beginning to think that if I could just figure out how to communicate these universal truths, conflicts, etc I'd be able to better navigate through life and also write a movie script that appeals to the general public. I've applied this question to what we think today of our intellectual capabilities in the scientific fields as well. Yes, it is true that we've come up with technologies that are advanced, but we're just building on existing knowledge base. People say that it should have technologies have exponentially advanced, but when machines are doing more of the thinking/work for us, that is expected. In turn, I want to make an amendment to this notion that growth has been exponential. I feel that we've been giving too much credit to man. Yes, man is the manipulator/inventor, but machines and numbers deserve some credit for our advancements. Anyways, that is another theory for another day. Now I'm off topic.

What I started off trying to say was that Sophocles really figured out the personalities and interactions between these personalities in conflict within tragedy. Am I wrong to assume/believe that he was educated in astrology, the beliefs of which explain various personalities. It was a prevalent idea at the time** (still is in some circles) so it could have very well been? I feel very uneasy about publishing such false statements. The point is, personalities don't seem to have changed very much throughout the years. We can still relate to the personalities of these characters and their actions. I find that really intriguing. It would be interesting to study the evolution of personalities, but this task would prove so daunting in the human species given the myriad of extrinsic factors. Factors such as: personalities are adaptable to situations and undergo a type of evolution that is dependent on time/age. Again, I'm getting off topic. Simply put, I find it fascinating the degree to which Sophocles understood human interactions and personalities. He understood it so well he was able to create a play revolving around these characters and invoking a greater message through them.

I am still thinking about the accepted standard societal codes of conduct, as I've just named them. I'm referring to the left-right dance, method of ending a conversation comfortably, etc. Sophocles surely has the answers to this. If only he wrote down that you must go right in one of his poems. Perhaps it was in the lost section in Aeschylus's Suppliant Maidens.

*This was to imply that we face more today then back then, but I'm beginning to think the degrees to what we face are pretty similar. Sophocles lived through a war, much like we are. These topics of life and death, politics, and morals are so relevant. I suppose these a universal human conditions and topics to be explored.

** I have no idea when astrology came about, or if it originated in the East or West. It was surely during polytheistic times.

Gin lovers unite

This goes on our list before the finalization of the script, pending name: "The Adventure"

http://matzoandrice.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/gin-tasting-extravaganza/

Now, while it was a couple that did their own gin tasting, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of having only two people. Perhaps it is my scientific nature (n-1=1) that tells me that this has no accuracy whatsoever or my desire to make this gin tasting adventure really epic. This will definitely require more than the two of us.

A winter holiday party drink I found online: the Gin Fizz

ice

2 oz gin

1 teaspoon of powdered sugar

juice of 1/2 lemon

club soda

1 cherry for garnish (personally, i think garnishes are an unneeded step between my drinks and my drinking, so I would prefer leaving these out especially if they are marciano cherries)

Combine first three ingredients into a shaker, shake, pour into champagne flute, top with club soda, add cherry if you wish.

I also found a new term from http://cocktails.ibeverageblogs.com/2009/04/12/winter-gin/

“Wint-o-Green effect.” Sometimes when it’s cold you want something cool, increasing (rather than mitigating) the cool effect. That’s what gin does. It adds a crispness to an already crisp situation

The description is so perfect, though I'm sure there is a better name for it. I don't care for the spelling either.

Here's how I see this working:

Winter break - preferably when or after I become a legal imbiber, we will set up a Facebook event (naturally). It may be entitled "Winter-gin tasting". I suppose I could make my birthday party a gin only party, but this would definitely scare some folks away (maybe a good thing). I'm predicting that gin goes well with gingerbread snap cookies; this is something we must test. We will combine our skiing, snowboarding adventure with gin tasting and reunion. It'll be legendary and will have to create a charter so that the event can occur annually for years to come. It will become so popular an event that we will sponsor it and perhaps add a summer gin tasting as well. We'll have to figure out a prime location for this event. Maine? Italy? - where olives are plentiful? Rotterdam? - origination?

Finally, where can I find a copper pot so that I can create my own blend of gin.

Free masonry and America

George Washington, Ben Franklin, Pierre Lafonte, James Holden (built the White House)

I'm watching a Discovery channel special called "Secret America"

Looking past all the conspiracy theories, we find that the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel tower were constructed by free masons. Another fact, the city planner for Washington was a free mason (Lafonte). The free masons were a secret society/oldest fraternity in the US, that stood for freedom from ignorance. They based their values on building. They had some ritual with corn, oil, and wine: corn represents prosperity, oil=peace, wine=happiness.

I've become exposed to more and more about free masonry and I have to say it is intriguing.

That time I had to bail my friend out of jail, the towing bondsman was a free mason. Ever since that point, I've looked into what it was via wikipedia and have also picked up on random information here and there when it is mentioned. Now this TV special is the icing on the cake, and I'm just learning so much.

LATFH

Tell me you've seen this:

http://www.latfh.com/

I've just submitted one. The one on the right is my friend, Landon (note the Houston jersey). Hopefully it wins and they post it.


The caption will read:

"I see four tall boys, two of which are also pussies."

You're Right, Old age is horribly depressing

I did a terrible scanning job.

Here's the transcript:

Frame 1

Kim: Gate 4. I think this goes back to Kopenhagen.

Frame 2

Kim: Those seats look good

Jane: Can we sit wherever?! (in utter surprise, thinks: America is strict)

Frame 3

Jane: so, how many hours do we sit on this train?

Frame 4

Kim and Jane chit chat to kill time

Row 2: Frame 5

Old lady 1: German, German

Old lady 2: German German

Jane: Any guesses as to what they are saying to us?

Kim: Are they saying it or yelling it?

Jane: You're right, we may be getting yelled at.

Frame 6-7

no dialogue, just enjoy the pictures

Frame 8

Jane is sleeping against the window

Old lady 1 (looks to Jane): Tee hee

Frame 9: (bottom middle)

Old lady 2: German, German

Old ladies 1-2: Haha Teehee

Frame 10

Jane: Wow does my neck hurt from sleeping all weirdly. Anything good happen?

Kim: Well, we now have new grandmas

Fin

Hope you enjoyed

Bond's man

I didn't feel like going to the tailgate for our football game, so I went home after our 11 am pregame. At around 3, I got a call that my friend Christen was in jail. Being the only sober one, I went to the county jail to see what I needed to do. Bail was posted at $1000. I had to either pay cash or pay a bondsman. At Krankie's coffee shop (see last post), which happened to be around the corner from the jail, I went to get coffee and find a yellow page book. When asked what I needed the Yellow pages for, I told them I needed a bondsman to post bail. They handed me a card for Scriven Towing and told me that their friend Michael Scriven is also a bondsman. Good, a towing bondsman.

After waiting for him for 1 hr (he was towing a car a few towns over), I met this character. I filled out paperwork, drove to the jail only to find out that it was on "lock down" (later I found out that one of the inmates had passed out and EMS had to come). No one was allowed in or out. The cops tried to delay the process of moving Christen from the check-in to the jail cell, because they said jail was "just like you see on tv" and "there [were] some big girls in there". So we waited outside. After 2 hours of hearing about the bondsman life, I filled out some more paperwork. Meanwhile, Christen was in the cell in full jumper. At some point during filling out the paperwork, bondsman had me pretend I was with him, as in his wifey. You see, some homeless drunkard sat next and tried to talk to me.

Another hour passed that I spent in the waiting room filled with society's not so finest human beings. Finally, at 8 they released the traumatized crying friend. Two morals in this story, kids: do not flick off a civilian-clothed cop and getting arrested is not the least bit funny.

DEMODEX

So yesterday I found out that I received a research grant to continue my project, which is great. I immediately felt that I should clue you in on my research.



Meet the Demodex folliculorum, a friendly little chelicerate that lives on your face and eats god knows what. I caught this little guy somewhere between my nose and my ear and slapped him onto a slide for his big close-up and your viewing pleasure.

On another note I watched Fired Up today with Yellow Fever, possibly the worst movie anyone has ever seen or made...

The Cope

Your post made me feel so nostalgic that I had to pull out the journal I kept during our time abroad and read a few select exerpts. I'll include what I wrote through tear-filled eyes as I rode the plane away from the best semester ever (dramatic, much?):

"I'll miss so much about these four months, as I don't think my life will ever be so exciting, independent, or responsibility-free again. What will I miss most? Tuesdays and Fridays with Erik and Jane. Marcella's and my head-to-toe sleepovers, Christiania, the Fakta downstairs, the ease of public transport, Wednesdays off, cigarettes out the window, and the generally ridiculous adventures we've had..."

A little over a month later, I write again:

"Being back at school is horribly depressing...I'm questioning friendships I previously held so much store by and wonder if I've always settled. I feel right now as if I'm a poorly executed composite of the people I like to surround myself with..."

It goes on and on into the oblivion that is self indulgence, but seriously, what a bummer it was to come back from the fall we had. Luckily, I'm happy now. haha. Being a senior really is all it's cracked up to be, and the cliches I'm conforming to lately are much more agreeable.

Stealing Denmark

Anders came and brought back all my memories of Copenhagen. I was going to wear my DIS shirt, but I thought that would be too much. Considering I didn't pay, he might have made me take the shirt off my back. I couldn't be angry at Anders though I wanted to because he refused to stow me away. He had that Danish accent + that Danish innocence that gets me every time.

I wish i could show you the Danish vocabulary cards I put up in my bathroom, but my camera mysteriously broke. There are three card in a row, one of tighty whiteys, frilly underwear only a 5 year old could pull off, and boxers posted above the toilet. Just by coincidence they match the rest of my decor. Once I find a permanent home, I'm putting them all over my house. The ones of food are going into the kitchen, naturally. The odds and ends will end up in a huge photo frame one day...

I also sized up a vending machine today. American vending machines are much more massive. Expected. No way I'll be able to tip it over to get some snacks.

Getting old

This isn't about us getting old (though with the way people are throwing around words like "career" and "networking" we may be) it's about getting really really old.

This weekend I went to my gramma's house for a visit, and she informed me that it was my great-grandmother's 92nd birthday. Being the patient granddaughter I am, I agreed to go to the little birthday lunch. This is where getting old comes in. This 92-year-old woman is a mere shell of the woman I knew to be my grandmother. She doesn't really know who we are, why we're there, or where she is. She can't believe it's her birthday, can't believe we're her family, and can't believe we knew that she loves almond joy candy bars. Having a conversation with her is what I imagine having a conversation with a goldfish would be like and the afternoon, though exciting for her, makes me feel that I should really cherish being 21.

Are we getting what we should out of youth? Or is it as they say it is, and "wasted on the young?"

Boredom

Fancy a T-Shirt?

Frequent Trips

So I've just been moved in to my final Bowdoin dorm. It's rather a tragedy and I don't think I'm coping well. The seniors were welcomed back with a presentation on GETTING A JOB (fuck) and other words such as "career" and "interview" that made me want to vomit. To deal, I've been making lots of trips to Target and Christiania. Erik even stopped by the other day with his surprisingly hot girlfriend, Olivia. We spoke of you, science, and other important things. Olivia told me that once, a boy jumped off a dock and went through a dead manatee. Needless to say, my mind was blown and Olivia is no longer welcome in my room. The story of Sam shitting on the floor may or may not have been mentioned.

For now I'm searching for some hip shit to stick on my walls, as I am officially too mature for posters. Speaking of HIP (smooth segue, I know) Williamsburg was just fucking shocking on my last trip there. There was a free grizzly bear concert in a park and the hipsters were out in a finer form than any outsider such as myself could have ever imagined. I didn't think this possible, but they actually got HIPPER. strange.

So I'm off to walmart and to listen to some Joni Mitchell because I'm so sophisticated. I hate everything.

I will soon include some of the new art I have produced. Prepare yourself. Keep reading the scrabbler (i finally fixed the link I posted months ago) and send me the next comic strip ASAP so I can put it on my wall.

Its Dove Season

I went to Brandon's house to go hunting in his field. He technically doesn't live in a town, but for the purposes of mail carriage its in China Grove. First of all, I'd like to ask who came up with that name. Not only does the town NOT have any Chinese people, there are lots of fields and some trees, but by no means would I consider it a grove.

Brandon said the sky was unusually sparse that day. Normally, there would be flocks of doves. The limit for doves allowed to be killed by each person was 15. Between 10 people, we shot a total of 8 birds (two got lost in some bean fields). Six birds were to be defeathered and eaten that evening. Who knew you could eat doves? I sure didn't. Anyways, I shot two shots. One for practice, one to miss a dove. By the end of the day, all I had caught was some sun.

Afterwards, I headed down to Gary's BBQ with Gary - not THE Gary of Gary's BBQ, but this guy from school. Gary's BBQ was decked out with old posters/panels advertising Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Cigarettes. These had to be from the time when the recipe for Coke had actual yayo in them, yet they were strangely bright. All that non-exposure to the sun had done them good. Inside the restaurant were also three classic cars. Through a glass window they were on display. Pretty bizarre if you ask me. Next up was the Porky ride, a half pig-half bull riding machine that only cost a quarter. I would have taken a ride, if only it weren't in the middle of the restuarant and fit for the behind of a 5-year-old. Oh, and ask me where Santa Clause was dining that evening. At Gary's.

Sure glad I missed the opening football game for this experience. Definitely one for the books. If we had remembered to bring that thing we do in Christiania, it would have been better than straight dope.

Abandoned Cities

http://weburbanist.com/2009/08/13/8_cities_abandonment_deserted_modern/





One of these cities is bound to be the next up and coming city after some renovation and gentrification. Also, we should go to Venice before it disappears.



You must read this when you get the chance.

Party tricks

Have you been introduced to www.peteranswers.com ? It's only the greatest party trick to hit the streets since marijuana.

Also, have you been introduced to the world's weirdest hotels? When we go back to Berlin, we're staying at the first one. Go look at the extended pictures. It's even worth a trip to the hotels' personal websites:


You may want to retract the statements previously made in the betrayal and abandonment post. The Scrabbler is BACK! Roadtrip is soon to commence. i'll keep you updated on the details. In other news, our own little Jesse has left for the motherland.

Wicked Plants

http://www.bbg.org/exp/wickedplants/

We must see this exhibit at Brooklyn Botanic Gardens called "Wicked Plants"

There is an audio tour!

Make it happen Kim

Cruel Intentions?

As you may or may not know, I work part-time in a medical billing office. In doing so, I've started to wonder about the intentions of parents. Is it possible that some are just plain cruel? There is just no forseeable good in naming your child Melvin Anything, Robert Roberts, Kermit, or LaQuinta.

Pretty Standard

Saw Brüno and re-enforced any preexisting feelings I held towards Alabama and its residents. Pity and disgust are a nasty combination.

Lots of day camp and children lately. I think they are growing on me, which wasn't really supposed to happen. I almost had a situation during arts and crafts today (don't worry, all the crafts are relevant to cheerleading) involving the yarn dolls we were making (I will include a picture for your viewing pleasure). Serenity (who as she put it, has the only "dark face" on the squad) was presented with the decision of which color yarn she wanted to make her doll out of. (I'd purchased a shade specifically with her in mind!) Seeing the other girls' choices, she went with the crowd and picked the cream-colored yarn. Faced with the same dilemma, little Chloe Rodriguez reacted identically.
What to do, you ask? I make a point to pick the dark brown yarn for myself to show them that different is cool (even though we all know it's not). As a result, Chloe and Serenity want to switch their choice and proudly honor their ancestors, and I end up with a doll that looks like this:



So you see Jane, these are the real-life issues I am dealing with on a daily basis. I'm out in the field, working through some powerful stuff. Also, I made a girl cry the other day and wanted to punch myself in the face. Kevin had a kid tell him that he wanted to "stab his mom with a bayonette" and Michael got kicked in the balls by an 8 year old asian kid named Richard.

Pretty standard.

Locks of lust

Can you imagine, some person out there has been growing their hair for years for the "locks of love" cause. She thinks that her hair is going to create a wig for a cancer patient, when in fact it ends up in a Salon in Orange County to be used as hair extensions for some actress or even worse some girl who wants to look rad for her super sweet 16. What is thatt?

Betrayal and abadonment

I'm still anxiously waiting for the return of the subway scrabbler.

That is the betrayal of all time. Maybe not all time, but in this century. Worse than Macbeth but I guess not as bad as Judas.

Is he ever going to come back or will this abandonment have me going in for some sort of treatment.

Also, I've found a way to get cancer.

If instead of the movie drinking game, where you take a sip of beer every time there's a cue, you smoke with the cast of Mad Men - taking a drag every time the characters do - surely you will have cancer by the end of the season. So full of treats, I'd say every two seconds a treat is lit. Kids play inside dry cleaning bags, pregnant women smoke and drink, typewriters are dummy proofed (for the women secretaries).. its such a great time in America's history.

Sabotage

Yesterday we had 52 posts. Today, 51.

Why is blogger sabotaging us? Did it finally happen? Did we just get too good for the internet?

Camp(fire) Stories

During the first week of camp we had an overabundance of soccer players with a huge range of ages, so I was recruited to take the little soccer kids (4 and under) for the day. Chandler (who is 4, and about whom I've already made several assumptions) sat on the ground and pouted when asked to play soccer. When I asked Chandler what it was he wanted to do, he replied "pick flowers." Then he wanted to play "the color game," which involves one person (usually me) picking a color, and the other person (always Chandler) deciding if that color were "pretty, cute, or handsome."
I think I see a real future for both Chandler and the game.


On the first day of cheerleading camp, I was talking to each girl in turn to try and get to know them a little (because I care deeply about all that children have to say of course). Three of the girls are sisters and are Spanish (not Mexican, as they made exceedingly clear). I asked if they spoke spanish at home and they said they did, and another girl chimed in that she spoke spanish at home too. When I told them how "awesome" I thought that was, little Maggie got jealous and loudly exclaimed "WELL I EAT TORTILLAS!" No one really likes Maggie, myself included.


Fridays are always water balloon days. We play a few rounds of egg toss with the balloons and follow with a rousing game of hit the coach. Being children, the campers are largely incompetent at this game (except the ruthless football players) and are unable to effectively hit the coach. As a result, the coach has 2 choices; either catch the water balloons they throw and give them infinite chances (they are bound to do it eventually) or let them come up and help them pop the water balloon over your own head. In both cases, the worst part is having to pretend you're enjoying yourself.

Adventures dos

A trip through the Ocean State more commonly known as the Smallest State.I tried coloring inside the lines, but unfortunately I haven't practiced coloring since middle school. Excuse the mess.

Jon plus 4, Kate plus 4?

Right now I'm watching the newest episode of Jon and Kate plus 8; it is pretty much the most depressing thing ever. This is the episode where they announce their divorce. Also on tonight: new episodes of Weeds and Nurse Jackie.

Last week was brutal. The heat index is over 100 degrees every day and even in amiable temperature conditions children don't respond to me that well. I realized that stretching out snack time as long as humanly possible is essential to survival.

Anyway, here's the long-awaited link to the almighty blog of Andrew Beale. Get ready to laugh, and be impressed by his witty quips:



The Subway Scrabbler

The Great Pop vs. Soda Controversy

(Pondial differences)

Since the earliest research into the the English Language as spoken in North America was begun by Noah Webster in the early 18th century, the regional variations in dialect have always been the most challenging and difficult to explain field. Since the development of carbonated beverage in 1886, one of linguistic geography's most important and least investigated phenomena has been the sharp regional divisions in the use of the terms "pop" and "soda." Due to the domination of hard-line conservative lingusitic geographers in such leading institutions such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford and the University of the West Indies, this dilemma has been swept under the rug . . . until now. Using the new technologies of the Internet and the World Wide Web, I and my colleagues at the California Institute of Technology and Lewis & Clark College are undertaking a bold new research into this fascinating area.

CONCLUSION: People who say "Pop" are much, much cooler.

(extract from the "Pop vs. Soda" page)

http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~almccon/pop_soda/

http://www.yaelf.com/swot.shtml

Summer

Not much new in the workings of my life lately. I've spent the last few days watching episodes of Weeds online and will probably spend the next few days doing the same thing. Thank God there are only 4 seasons. In fact, as I write this there is an episode loading in another window.

I start molding young, impressionable future cheerleaders of suburban Houston next Saturday. It promises to be hot, miserable, and frustrating. Maybe even low-paying. Luckily I just dropped $360 on a bridesmaid dress that looks pretty mediocre on.

What a sad post this is. I'll check back when I have something less cranky to report.

I stopped eating meat too, but the veggie burgers I bought taste a lot better than the ones Will bought. Let's see how long it lasts.

Tribal initiation

Shabbat dinner at Jesse's was something special. 

Before dinner, his mother showed me the MOST adorable picture of Jesse standing in a window. He was just about as tall as the window, blonde curly hair and the most surprised look on his face as he looks over his shoulder. Then a picture of Jesse with his brother, his blonde curly hair once again just gently falling over his eyes. 

This is the point where we each started drinking our second glass of wine.

Jesse was so nervous while reading the prayer only because he knew that I'd discuss it with you later. Truth be told, it was kind of puppy-dog cute. Obviously, he does it every week, but he went through it quickly and I may have heard a croak in his voice once or twice. Then there was a joke about me becoming initiated into "the tribe" after I was blessed in the children's blessing prayer.

He warned me ahead of time that his brother was a talker. Zach turned out to be everything I expected and more.  In typing speed, usually measured in words per minute (WPM), he would be speaking at probably 800 WPM - multiples the speed of any normal being, which as a lawyer probably comes in handy. 

The family exchanged stories of high school and college, of cheating or not going to class, of tricking teachers and manipulating the system. They moved onto topics such as rebellious moments in the Rentz sibling's teen years. As well as some moments that David Rentz cared to share... The family was oddly comfortable mentioning sex, which is taboo in the Lee household. Generally, speaking does not occur during dinner in my house, so it was a nice comfortable change. Overall I got to see glimpses of the good, bad and ugly.  With each story, another glass of wine was poured.  The stories just kept getting funnier and it was a grand old time.

After the three bottles of wine we killed, Jesse and I moved ourselves into the basement where we opened the bottle of Vodka and Johnny Red (for me and Jesse respectively of course) and tried to watch "In Treatment," a rather interesting show about therapy. After the first episode, Zach came down to ask me about dating advice.

He basically asked me how down 22 year olds would be to getting into bed and how to do it without coming off disrespectfully. As if I had been there and done that. I had no idea what to tell him, but drunkenly he went on and on with the questions (at 1600 WPM,  slurred mind you).  The converstation went in circles for about 3 more episodes of "In Treatment" (gauged by when the credits appeared). Then Zach was satisfied with the non-answer I gave him, so he went up to bed. We turned on the Doors movie and I fell asleep to Jim Morrison's beared face while "Light my Fire" played in the background along with Jesse's snoring, naturally. I left him there on the couch, afraid to disorient him (because we know what that would do). 

The morning train rides were quiet and dull. We talked mostly about how Adriene tricked him into going to bed with her and how weird it would be to see Lou. I was supposed to meet back up with him in the city, but he seemed fine without the need for rescue so I let him be.

That's all you really missed.

Glee

Fox has a new show piloting on the 18th that looks just fantastic. It's called Glee and I'm calling it to be the next big thing (at least as far as my life is concerned.
Here is the extended trailer, WATCH IT and tell me if you are anticipating it as hard as I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNU0KoBIIdE

YESSSSSSSSS

text from last night

"Erik just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way."

Vi ses! Farvell!

and Hej Hej....
Apparently this blog also has a tributes feature too.
So here's a tribute to Bea Arthur, who died peacefully in her sleep on Saturday, April 25th. She was 86.

You may as well know now if you don't already. I'm the biggest Golden Girls fan ever. in the world.
I'm so devastated.

Graphic Novels

did you know that the blog's got a graphic novel series as well?

Too bad its so small.

"the list" version 2.0

1. Rugbrod
2. Glogg
3. Jersey Shore
4. Philly
5. DC
   
6. Our awesome Cookbook
7. Monetize the blog
8. Graphic Novel series
9. Mons Meg Bar/Restaurant
10. Concept-concept-concept
11. Danish Ballet
12. 
    

Current favorite song?

Rocky Raccoon

weather

Are you ever impressed by how profoundly weather can impact mood? Friday was raining and gloomy, and I was steps from just ending it all (not really).

Today is the most beautiful day ever and I walked around deleriously happy.

High Fives

There's something about high-fives.
Maybe its the fact that its half way between a handshake and a wave, but has established itself in its own right, unjustifiably.
Maybe its the mandatory reciprocation of it.
And that its almost automatic how if someone put out their hand, you have to high-five back to be considered a descent human being.
Its also so unnatural to just stick up your hand like that.
When someone is really tall and puts their hand in the air, and you have to jump up or tippy toe to high-five back, that just sucks.
Although enjoyable in childhood, now I'm not sure what all the hype was about.

Artist of the Week

Did you know that arrowsandmoments has an Artist of the Week feature? Neither did I!

Featuring this week's artist, the hyperrealist sculptor,

RON MUECK

He's super-creepy, and super good.

Puns.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/28/opinion/28Tartakovsky.html?ex=1253937600&en=ab083899556aa488&ei=5087&WT.mc_id=OP-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M088-ROS-0309-PH&WT.mc_ev=click

Recipe for the Best Banana Sunday

Ingredients:
1 dark banana - because its creamy, almost like the texture of cold ice cream.
2 scoops of your favorite Ben and Jerrys. My recommendation American Dream + Cherry Garcia, but i'm sure any number of combinations would work.
2+ spoons of peanut butter
2+ spoons of refridgerated fudge icing.

Seriously, the best.
Just enough texture for difference, juste enough temperature difference.


I think we need to publish a cook book. Can we post that on goright without people feeling weird about that connection?

goright.com

I'd forgotten to elaborate on this plan.
It's an effort at a solution to that awkward back and forthsies dance you do when you are walking towards someone on the street and your paths are about to collide. You go right and they go left (you're facing each other), then you try left but they try right, and repeat ad nauseum. Then you have to do a stupid laugh or even joke about what just happened, even though it's more annoying than funny.

In my travels I've discovered that this happens all over the world. Thus, the goright.com project was formed. If everyone just goes right all the time, this will never happen again.

I chose right because we can't let those wacky Brits and their left-walking/driving ways win this one. It's just too important.

Thoughts??

Second best site to straightdope

http://www.unnecessaryknowledge.com/

just keep clicking unnecessary knowledge link

More

I also wanted to include an e-mail my friend will sent me because it made me lol. The success to which he is referring is in buying drugs:

Dearest Adam & Kim,

Success kids. By the way I am so high right now (but not on the own supply I just bought; there are three words for that DI-SCI-PLINE (and that fact that I already gave it away to be driven up to Bowdoin)).

Adam, I'm also almost done with this love song I've been tinkering with. We should workshop that mutha fucka. Although it calls for a 72-piece orchestra, full black baptist gospel choir, and a microphoned tank of whales in heat. You should also brush up on your sitar. Drewt on drums is essential. If I had to compare it to other songs it would be like a mix of Something, Visions of Johanna, Say Yes, Ring of Fire, Angie, Svefn-G-Englar, and Fake Plastic Trees (to name a few).

Kim, the whole band will need japanese tragedy mask face paint. But Adam and I will need to be Samurai Warriors with scaly dragon/rhino skin that will seem impenetrable to fire.

Obviously.

Peace, Love,

-Willy

I'm back.

Apologies for the unannounced leave of absence. The first week of my spring break was spent (as you know) in the desert, where much hiking, rafting, and horseback riding was had. The second week my grandparents were at our house because their 50th anniversary party was being held in Houston (it was fancy plus). The family and extended family didn't disappoint and all got super bombed at the open bar. After we were semi-kicked out (they started vacuuming the room and we finally got the hint) my grampa stuck his fingers in the air like guns and screamed "VINCENTS RULE!" It was touching. also weird. there is a picture of the happy couple mixed in with the desert shots..

In other news I am to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. Unfortunately that means buying a dress. Fortunately the dress is pretty. My friend Carolyn (the bride) posted the link to the dress on my wall. In other other news, you got drunk and gave away 2 death skittles, which is a sad sad story. I once got drunk and gave away one, and have never been the same since. The girl I gave it to hooked up with my roommate's ex-boyfriend later that night, and I threw up a little in the snow (no rainbow colors there). Needless to say, a great night.

Back to school tomorrow. ultimate bummerrrrrr.....also, my dog vomitted on my carpet today. yessss.

The Danish duo

I went to shower after work today, and someone from the hostel had left their shampoo in the shower. I picked it up, and saw a matas label on it. Got really excited.

I went outside to have a treat, and heard these two guys talking. I was overlistening in order to see what they were saying. They were speaking in another language, (my guess was Danish because on of them said "det godt lidt"). But just to make sure, I asked them if they were Swedish. When they said they were Danish, of course I was really excited and said, "Hvordan gor det?" And they were not that excited as I was. In fact, they were less than pleased, as I should have expected. Bummer.

So I tried to use some other phrases we learned anyways. "Hvor bor du i Denmark?" "Jeg hedder Jane" "Jeg studier in Kobenhavn"
Nothing mentioned about how great I am at Danish. What a waste of a class.

Since you weren't lazy.

The tires covering the women's basketball poster and glare on Biggie from the tv.

My USB drive in shambles. Of course this sort of thing only happens during midterms.

These also burn stomachs, the cheesy hotness before flaming hot cheetos - comparably good



Its okay though, "Life is better with a side of fries"

ROOMPIX

bird. by me.



walrus. by steph.



craig. by steph.



kim and steph. by me.



room. by us.



the end.

oh and here's some bonus shots from the snowstorm last week:

The Darnedest.

Recently, I've found that events of my childhood have become so relevant.

It started with Daria.
Bike Riding.
Captain Planet.
Vegetarianism - I used to hate meat, for reasons I don't even remember. My friend Data (who grew up a vegetarian) told me that he has high cholesterol because he started eating meat. It makes so much sense.
I learned the probability of rock paper scissors in economics class today.
and legos


Now, every thing relates back to childhood and so I've reverting back to my ways when I was so much smarter. This includes jokes about poop and I will always think boys have cooties.

Gold cont'd...

I've also been thinking a lot about gold, thanks to those commercials. Don't you find it strange that we value something for the simple fact that it is pretty? I suppose it's rare, but gold isn't a particularly strong metal, so it's not at all practical in use. It's value is based strictly on the shallow tastes of we humans.

Don't even get me started on the idea of the entire US Treasury being based on the gold standard....Platinum and diamonds I can understand. At least they're hard.

Am I just missing some very important aspect of gold that makes it worth caring about?

I think gold sucks--it causes nothing but strife.

the Gold Business?

Have we humans mined all the gold in the world?
If so, how is new gold jewelry made.
Just something I've been pondering for a while now ever since those Cash 4 Gold commericals play. I've been meaning to ask the Cash 4 Gold guy but tv's can't talk... yet.

friday

tonight my roommate and I are staying in to make paintings on plywood (that we bought at lowes. how suburban of us) for our walls instead of going out and getting drunk. it's going to be great. it will be a collage of four panels consisting of the following:

1. a fat bird wearing a scarf saying "I gotta learn some new songs"
2. a fat, bored-looking walrus saying "you discussed me"
3. a cat named craig who claims to "keep it real part time"
4. 2 questionable looking hoodlums wearing hoodies saying "just trust us"

drawings by her, paint by me. plywood by dudes at lowes

pictures and more 30+ year old phrases to come. get ready.
so industrious, right?

30 year old words and phrases

What are some words and phrases you can only use past the age of 30.
lollygag

The video I stole off Erik's Wall that you posted

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1899230
First of all, it sounds like my Copenhagen mornings, when the truck comes to pick up the bottles outside of Fakta at 7 in the morning while also unknowingly acting as my alarm. I don't know if you experienced that because you were in the middle.

Its so Danish
1. Tuborg, Carlsberg, Dansk Pilsner in absurd amounts
2. Starts off with some guy on the toilet (Danes are so pornographic)
3. Foosball table
4. "We are the Champions" song

Not so Danish
1. pi
2. Slow motion, they're supposed to use that special type of filming Moans taught us about.
3. Overhead lights?
4. Not recycling their bottles!!

i love high school

So my friend jin kyung and I are in this really fantastic Greek Civilization class together that is basically just like high school. He gives us the answers to quizzes and on Fridays we watch group presentations and get snacks. Jin and I decided that we should enhance our own knowledge of greek culture and watch the movie Troy while eating Korean food.

We drove half an hour to the nearest korean market and then made a feast for our friends and made everyone watch Troy with us. The food was delicious and the movie was AWFUL. haha

Let's go to Korea some time, you will be the navigator.

I'm pretty sure that is the moral of this anecdote.

Midnight Brownie

I had a brownie before going to sleep,
mid dream, my dreams turned off. That's when I knew, it was no ordinary brownie.

Time to market?

THE TIME IS NOW!

I thought of that during physics today and started laughing audibly.
I wonder what Neils thought of our business plan. I wonder how to properly spell Niels.

Have I told you about the website I'm planning on launching (goright.com)? If so, we should be business partners, if not, I should tell you the plan....It will sweep the nation, which is, it seems, exactly what this nation needs!

What's weirder than laughing?

I think you were saying that laughing is innate,
but what about smiling? It's almost the same, but that's something that's learned and something that's cultural.



How much do you want a polser right now?
I've been craving it for three days straight.

Christian-an appropriately danish name for a lion

Have I sent this to you?

you must watch it:

HEARTWARMING

Mine too

My weekend was equally uneventful. I sat in adam (whom you've met) and will's apartment (practically home) and subjected my brain to similar treatment two nights in a row. On Sunday I too proceeded to study with tea in hand (also compliments of my roommate).

On a lighter note,

Anthony visited Bowdoin this weekend! It was really nice to see him, he's more asian than I remembered, which is refreshing. On Thursday my friend Jin-kyung and I are making a Korean feast and watching Troy, and then maybe all 5 Saw movies. Gross. Straightdope.com may also come into play.

I've been trying to look up what you and Erik were talking about with the evolutionary significance of women and the types of make-up they wear but have thus far been completely unsuccessful.

Help...

My weekend

It was quite uneventful.
I'm too depressed to go out and have fun. I could have subjected myself to one of two tortures: go to a frat party, and that just seems dumb because no one there has any substance or sat at home and watch my guy roommates and their friends complain that there is nothing to do. I chose the later and treated my brain to that thing we do at Christiania. and then I fell asleep before I could even talk to Eric. That's the truth, I think he called at 12 and I was probably already passed out. Sad.
Then I proceeded to study all day with tea in hand. Only there were just two varieties. My old roommate bought a decaffenated tea, so really there was one. Where was Alyssa's variety pack? I spent the rest of my money on groceries, nothing new. Enjoyed a lean pocket. Procrastinated my studying by filling out one of those chain notes on facebook where you're supposed to write 25 interesting facts about yourself, except I pressed the back button and they erased when I was halfway through. I was fuming, so I had a treat.
All in all, a loser's weekend. I did discover why I'm afraid of the dark. I had a traumatic experience playing man hunt.

The era of Kim, Erik, and Jane (in no particular order)

I talked to Erik last night and got so nostalgic.

How much do you hate the fact that things can never be as they were?

my friend had a really interesting insight about people with a dent in their chin (more commonly known as a "butt" chin.

he decided that humans will evolve past the butt chin, since no one wants to procreate with anyone that has one. soon the butt chined ones will become functionally extinct

a friend of mine just had the best revelation
on the subject of cock eyed humans

"they have permanent 180 vision; they can see all around them"

Haha I am the absolute picture of sobriety in some of those pictures. I'm so glad you were able to see them. I am also glad you noticed the OUTRAGEOUS amounts of plaid my friends were sporting for my birthday celebration. I need more plaid. a lot more plaid.

Anyway, I think I am going to Big Bend for spring break this year. It will be the ultimate in Texan activities. If you really go to Chicago this summer I will absolutely fly out to see you.

What's sad is I have nothing of substance to report. Today is Wednesday, so hopefully I make some important insights later on this evening. I'm sure a planet earth DVD or two will be involved...

Last Wednesday I considered the concept of smiling. Why do humans (and mini humans) smile as a sign of happiness? Blind babies smile. This must be of some importance..

P.S.

I did indeed liquor up those poor lobsters. Ever since I was an actual mini-human I demanded that my grandfather sacrifice some of his gin to anesthetize them. Now that I am of age I can do it myself.

P.P.S.

I wish I could retain information like I could in 5th grade. Ex: the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Spanish conquistadors were looking for the three G's; gold, glory, and god..etc.

I haven't learned anything that thoroughly in years...thoughts? comments? suggestions?

Pictures comments I'm not allowed to make

I have a lot of comments for you from the picture Scarlett took. Yes I took a peekie. But since I'm not allowed to comment on photos of non-friends, here they are.

1. did you liquor up your lobster? (8/60)
2. Maine seems to have a lot of places to sight see
3. someone like knees (50/60)
4. i'm glad someone else besides me loves plaid (53/60)
5. death row (2/60)
6. Kim turns 1 and i'm pretty sure that's just water in your wine glass.
7. that cat looks pissed
8. i like your hair

I would be impressed if you could peel a real orange in one piece.
I tried to peel one of those super California sunkist oranges, but ended up in a four piece failure. Not like those 10 kr clementines. Those were the good days.

Cutco cuts through pennies, and easily through fingernails. ouch.
Tell your friend I'm sorry and that I won't be able to meet her until her fingernail has fully regrown because thats gross and I might not want to be a friend to such a defect.

I went "Cosmic bowling" last night. Townies are a special breed of human. One mini human was shaking her booty and singing along to Biggie,"I used to read word up magazines" when I'm sure she was too young to know how to read. They are the kind of people you read about but don't really think exist. Americans in unfortunate circumstances such as obesity and illiteracy. The type that don't own a computer. I've been hearing alot of these people lately and can't figure out how they live life without the internet.

Speaking of the internet, latest I've been wikipedia-ing is String theory.
I'm growing a strange attraction to physicists - the ones no one understands.

excess

This was one of those mornings where your astringent has too much alcohol content to bear. My roommate is at the hospital having her fingertip reattached because she tried to cut limes with a cutco knife last night. Bad call, good night.

The video isn't working, but thanks to the thumbnail I'm really jonesing for some haggis right now...FIX ITTT

I had a moment yesterday. I was buying my first legal alcohol at the grocery store and the cashier was a 200 year old woman. She checked my ID and since it's an out-of-stater she had to get managerial approval. She calls over her manager and he honestly looks 14. He took a look at my ID, smiled, said congratulations, and walked away.

Too bad it wasn't captured.

PS

this was honestly the best present I got. so well-tailored.

birthday gift for Kim

So here's the original gift. Since it was too big to send through email and Youtube rejected it. Blogger made it way faster that it was, so you may have to pause in between to figure out the secret message.

I think it was fate that this was the only place I could upload to because it led to part 2 of the gift - the best part. I couldn't leave it at just the video. I thought of a brilliant plan of how to extend the gift for a lifetime. Because people like gifts that are long lasting. So naturally, I made this blog for you and me because I couldn't get enough of those facebook messages and because the internet is forever (my grandkids might regret me saying that once this blog gets published as the greatest thing ever written. They'll be saying "oh, grandma" while rolling their tiny eyes). I picked the background with the least appealing name "dark dots" (they could be anything) and I've given you the chore of writing in the blog whenever you feel like it. I know you're probably not the first person to be a blogger, but I think I'm forcing you. It'll be quite good.

Jane