Bond's man

I didn't feel like going to the tailgate for our football game, so I went home after our 11 am pregame. At around 3, I got a call that my friend Christen was in jail. Being the only sober one, I went to the county jail to see what I needed to do. Bail was posted at $1000. I had to either pay cash or pay a bondsman. At Krankie's coffee shop (see last post), which happened to be around the corner from the jail, I went to get coffee and find a yellow page book. When asked what I needed the Yellow pages for, I told them I needed a bondsman to post bail. They handed me a card for Scriven Towing and told me that their friend Michael Scriven is also a bondsman. Good, a towing bondsman.

After waiting for him for 1 hr (he was towing a car a few towns over), I met this character. I filled out paperwork, drove to the jail only to find out that it was on "lock down" (later I found out that one of the inmates had passed out and EMS had to come). No one was allowed in or out. The cops tried to delay the process of moving Christen from the check-in to the jail cell, because they said jail was "just like you see on tv" and "there [were] some big girls in there". So we waited outside. After 2 hours of hearing about the bondsman life, I filled out some more paperwork. Meanwhile, Christen was in the cell in full jumper. At some point during filling out the paperwork, bondsman had me pretend I was with him, as in his wifey. You see, some homeless drunkard sat next and tried to talk to me.

Another hour passed that I spent in the waiting room filled with society's not so finest human beings. Finally, at 8 they released the traumatized crying friend. Two morals in this story, kids: do not flick off a civilian-clothed cop and getting arrested is not the least bit funny.