Beantown blues

Its been almost a month since I started working as a bartender at Koreana. The benefits have been that I have been brushing up on the language, eating Korean food almost every day, and keeping sane. I am sure that my parents are prouder of me now that I have found a way to simultaneously make money and brush up on my Korean. It's not a bad place to be. However, the managers have been hinting that I work there full-time. Drag. I recently picked up weekend hostessing duties and had some training as a server. They would like me to work as a waitress on days I am not a bartender. For now, I am fending off their requests. I will soon have to land a full-time job so I can have a legitimate excuse for needing some days of the week off. In reality, because I have funds coming through from this bartending gig, the search for a real job has slowed down.

Besides work, life is dull. I did carve a pumpkin. It rotted two weeks into October. Halloween passed without a moment of celebration. I got an extra hour of sleep today. Not that it mattered since I was sleeping in anyways. I have been trying to getting past the after-graduation/have-my-whole-life-ahead-of-me crisis. I am still out of touch with what I want, what I need to do, and where I should be in life. I've already made rash decisions for which I'll have to suffer the consequences for at a later time. I ran blindly to Boston, and I'll soon have to run to some other place when the life that seems to have been created here unravels. These days, I can't tell if I'm miserable, happy, or content. I'm not even sure if happiness matters or if its the only thing that does matter. Nothing seems to make sense.

The leaves have changed and the air is beginning to freeze. I'm singing the beantown blues.