The Jamba Man Can

So when I was 16, I decided I needed to become gainfully employed so I could purchase all the hottest Sanrio merch. As it turned out, our local Jamba Juice (managed by a man I now know to be practically insane) was in need of just the type of help I was desperate to offer.

After a few months, I was fired and then wrote this poem and posted it to my Xanga (as it turns out, I've been blogging since 2004...)

My friend recently logged into her own Xanga and rediscovered the poem, so I'm posting it here for posterity. I'm also forwarding you the e-mail your future ________ sent me about his NYE party. It does say to bring friends.

The Jamba Man Can

by: kim vincent

Mr. Duane Davis,
The Jamba Juice Man,
whips out those smoothies,
as fast as he can.
He makes all his patrons
think he gives a damn,
'cos he's Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man.


Mr. Duane Davis,
The Jamba Juice Man,
is poppin' some pills,
as much as he can.
The staff is all sufferin',
but hes still da' man,
cos' he's still Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man.


Along came Kim Vincent,
a kid with no money.
Duane gave her a chance,
he seemed sweet as honey.
Little did I know,
I'd soon have to pay,
for going in early,
to an interview that day.


Too good to be true,
my job had begun.
6 dollars an hour'd
be good for some fun.
The employees were sheep,
and thought Duane was cool,
He would walk by,
and Kathleen would just drool.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
hired Kim Vincent
as fast as he can.
One day he called,
my lip started to quiver,
The Jamba Juice man
was an Indian-giver.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
fired Kim Vincent,
as fast as he can.
He called up my phone,
and told me don't bother,
You won't be working
here any longer.


Next Wednesday had come,
and this was the day,
that I must return,
to collect my pay.
No reason was given
for my employment's demise.
"The man" couldn't even
look me in the eyes.


But don't you all worry,
and don't you all fear,
For vengeance is sweet,
and it draws more near,
Be it arson or murder,
or a wrench in a blender,
He won't fail to notice,
and he'll be smart to surrender.


Mr. Duane Davis,
the Jamba Juice Man,
will always make smoothies,
as good as he can.
But one day he'll know,
and I'll be sure that he sees,
his biggest mistake,
was firing me...

George, etc.

Remember George? (the original yellow fever)
Through extensive stalking, I've learned he has a job at MIT in the biology dept. Our other Bodil classmates are equally (or potentially) successful. Bradley and Claudia applying to fancy places like Stanford and UPenn, and the deplorable Jamie is in a PhD program? In the meantime, I don't think Ian ever returned stateside...

How am I supposed to deal?

I played rock band by myself and ate cookies all day.

I feel like such a failure.

Back in time

Sleeve tat?

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/12/the-evolution-of-the-hipster-2000-2009.html

There's finally a few (okay, maybe one and at most two) identifiable hipster(s) on my campus. The one I spotted was one of the grew-out-his-beard-and-now-looks-like-a-mountain man types. Strangely, I've probably seen him around before (it is a small school after all) and have to admit that he looks way better now. I can't yet tell his sexual preference, but I do like his taste in music which is mostly techno/dance (he happens to DJ for the school's radio). Yes, I may have stumbled upon some of his information. Looking at his pictures, he seems to have gone through this exact evolution, to the T with a short lived Buddy holly phase. I have yet to see him riding his vintage bike while rocking Fedora, but I'm sure come spring time this will all change. I just hope he skips the deep-V!

Thoughts about the sleeve tat? I think would need to grow a pair first.

New Goal

Our newest goal (to be added to the list of course) is to make a contribution to the following noble website:

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

My personal favorite?

The El Niño
Ground beef, sauteed onions, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and cheddar cheese wrapped in a large pepperoni pizza, totaling three pounds.



Warning, they've stolen most (if not all) ideas involving mac and cheese.